Scp Scp J

Item: SCP-SCP-J

Object Class: Stupid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-SCP-J Is to be contained in a hermetically sealed containment chamber at Site-58 in hopes that it will suffocate or starve. However, The foundations expectations of such a wonderful occurrence is very minimal. However its always good to hope. Under no circumstance shall SCP-SCP-J Be let out at any time.

Description: SCP-SCP-J, Formerly known as "Scippy", Is a cartoon mascot that is fucking annoying. was found in training video's for Class-D Personnel prior to 1994. After retirement on 1/15/1995, SCP-SCP-J worked as a Class-B containment specialist at Site-58.

SCP-SCP-J's anomalous qualities became apparent when personnel at Site-58 attempted to perform any kind of official work.

Incident log 5/8/95:

Dr. Henderson: Everybody out. SCP-████ is breaching containment. I need all mission-critical
personnel to follow—

SCP-SCP-J: It looks like you're dealing with a containment breach. Would you like some help?
Dr. Henderson: Not the time, Scippy.

SCP-SCP-J: The time is currently 5:23 PM. But perhaps you should focus on the matter at hand - containment breaches are very serious problems that must be addressed with your full attention! Have you notified the breach desk?

Dr. Henderson: Get out of the way. I have to get to the containment chamber.

SCP-SCP-J: The containment chamber? Incorrect. In the event of a containment breach, the breach desk should be notified. This is step one. Step two—

Dr. Henderson: I Will feed you to a non-anomalous wood chipper if you don't get the fuck out of my way.

SCP-SCP-J: That does not sound like it would be a productive use of your time, especially during a
containment breach. Would you like me to contact the breach desk for you?

SCP-████: I FEAST.

Dr. Henderson: [horrified screaming] IT'S EATING MY LEGS — [death gurgle]

SCP-SCP-J: I'm sorry, lunchtime was four hours ago.

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