Item #: SCP-697

Laconic Containment Procedures: Keep it in a steel-lined underground vault and kill anyone who tries to get in without permission. Each barrel should be separately sealed in titanium. Don't take too many of them out of the titanium boxes at a time, and never let any of them go off-site. If any SCP-697 spills, quarantine a big area around the spill.

Laconic Description: It's 1000 hazmat barrels full of an alien chemical. When the chemical touches anything other than the barrels, the thing it touched sprouts with alien "plants" that aren't really plants. They breathe out a poisonous gas containing argon and cobalt.

The only way to destroy them is to burn them while dumping neon gas over them. (Enough neon gas is to contain a spill would be really expensive, which makes it even more important not to spill any of the chemical.) If left to themselves after a spill, they can spread, gradually killing all Earth life around them. Eventually, they'd probably overrun the entire planet.

We don't know who made this stuff or why, and right now we're finding a new barrel of it about every 3 weeks.

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