Item #: SCP-666½-J

Object Class: Sweet mother of mercy is it ever Keter

Laconic Containment Procedures: Keep it in a secure room with at least 7 priests. Don't let it touch anything living.

Laconic Description: SCP-666½-J is a crab-stuffed mushroom entree that gave people really bad food poisoning, which is described as "several K-Class scenarios in your gut", as SCP-666½-J feels like "Satan himself violate the subject's anal canal with a pickaxe."
They feed it to SCP-682 and it willingly relinquishes its mortal coil and dies. The final note:

"Jesus wept." – Dr. Clef

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