Scp 666½-J

Item #: SCP-666½-J

Object Class: Sweet mother of mercy is it ever Keter

Laconic Containment Procedures: Keep it in a secure room with at least 7 priests. Don't let it touch anything living.

Laconic Description: A crab-stuffed mushroom entree cooked up by the Foundation's cooking staff Containment Cuisine. Gives you food poisoning, which is described as several K-Class scenarios in your gut as food poisoning makes "Satan himself violate the subject's anal canal with a pickaxe."
They feed it to SCP-682 and it willingly relinquishes its mortal coil and dies. The final note:

"Jesus wept." – Dr. Clef

Additional Context: A joke SCP, not to be taken seriously.

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