Item #: SCP-396

Laconic Containment Procedures: We keep it in Area-93 when it's not teleporting around. There's a GPS tag on it; whenever it shows up, have a Foundation agent pick it up. We've also put amnestic gas in the cushions so people won't remember seeing it.

When you're near it, do not talk about any things or places outside Area-93. We're hoping we can eventually talk it into jumping only to places we control, but that's still just an idea.

Laconic Description: It's a red metal-and-plastic chair. Every now and then it teleports, swapping places with another chair somewhere on Earth; anything/anyone sitting on it or the other chair gets swapped, too. We don't know exactly how it decides which chair to switch with, but if people near it talk about a place, it starts being able to teleport-swap with chairs there. It's been seen to swap with a lounge chair on a cruise ship, an electric chair right before an execution, a toilet, and the Pope's throne. Once it even swapped with another SCP chair.

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