Item #: SCP-3015
Object Class: Safe
Laconic Containment Procedures: Kept in a cell. The location it leads to is monitored and used to contain a couple of anomalous objects.
Laconic Description: SCP-3015 is a completely unresponsive and unmoving human. When someone says the phrase "Feel the burn" or something similar, it bends down and exposes its asshole, which teleports anybody who enters it into a building in Massachusetts.
One of the Misters Against Weed, anomalous humanoids created by the Gamers Against Weed as jokes, called "Mr. Bernie Sanders". Created by a GAW member called JJ who has the anomalous ability to be really lucky and who is struggling with self-doubt, frustration, and disconnectedness from his buddies.
Additional Context: The title "A Story Concerning Self-Doubt, Slight Disillusionment, and Frustration, As Told By the Lucky Member of a Group Whose Relatable Works Are Loved Internationally" has multiple meanings. It can refer to JJ, to the author, or to the on-site response to GAW.
