Item #: SCP-1675
Laconic Containment Procedures: Keep it in a reinforced cell and give it motor oil every 90 days. Approval of staff is necessary to experiment on it.
Laconic Description: A 1 meter-tall standing robot that never runs out of power despite having no power source or need for fuel. It's armored, has strong manipulator arms and two shoulder machine guns but will only use them to seek out and murder every goose in range by any means possible, strangling it if it doesn't have any weapons or ammunition. While doing so it will also say stuff about geese needing to be all killed and being a blight on this earth from a speaker on its head. It's otherwise harmless and doesn't communicate with humans, and when presented with a swan it acted like a policeman next to a regular civilian, pushing it away and telling it to move along.