Item #: SCP-1609

Object Class: Euclid

Laconic Containment Procedures: Used as mulch in a flower bed. Its flowers must be cared for and praised, and informed of any care conducted on it.

No one should wear a uniform, carry a weapon, or bring any motorized machines around the flower bed, to avoid upsetting SCP-1609. If it is upset, the area is to be evacuated and a mediator should come in to peacefully calm it down.

Laconic Description: It used to be E-622, a wooden oak chair with its backboard and armrests carved into the shape of a woman. It can teleport and used to offer itself as a seat for someone to use. The Global Occult Coalition originally had it before they threw it into a wood chipper. Turned into splinters, leather shreds and nails, it started teleporting into people's lungs and suffocated anyone who tried to stop its escape. Traumatized from the experience, it ran away to the Foundation as it was the only option it trusted.

This sort of thing is implied to be the reason the Foundation likes to contain things rather than destroying them: because sometimes, attempted destruction just gets you something much worse than you had before.

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